To Catch a Witch Page 3

  Star stared at her with some concern. 'Should you be eating curry?' she asked. 'Only, I read somewhere that eating spicy foods can start labour in the late stages of pregnancy.'

  'Oh, dear,' Father murmured.

  'Wouldn't that be wonderful,' Aurora said cheerfully. She scooped up a spoonful of Madras and shovelled it into her mouth. 'The sooner I pop the better,' she managed, her cheeks bulging.

  Mother had produced lots of different dishes for her buffet and we assumed Aurora would choose the mildest ones, but nothing would come between Aurora and her favourite foods. Although, to be honest, every food seemed to be Aurora's favourite. No one could accuse her of being a picky eater.

  Father looked deeply anxious. Sky reached over and patted him on the hand. 'Don't look so worried. If the baby arrives tonight, there are plenty of midwives here to lend a hand.'

  'Well, you can count me out,' Star said.

  'And me,' Sirius said. 'Although,' he added with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, 'that's women's work, anyway. Nothing for us men to worry about.'

  'Do you have a death wish?' Benedict asked, as Star stared at our brother with an ominous glint in her eyes.

  'It was a joke!' Sirius held up his hands in surrender. 'Behave yourself, Star. It's Christmas Eve. Best behaviour from all of us or Santa Claus won't come.'

  'Santa Claus has already arrived for me and Jethro,' Sky said.

  She beamed at her boyfriend, who flushed lightly and murmured, 'Don't be silly. It's not important.'

  'What's this, Jethro?' Father asked, reaching for an onion bhaji.

  'Nothing, sir, honestly.'

  'You're far too modest,' Sky told him. 'And stop calling Father, sir. He's told you hundreds of times to call him Raiden.' She turned to us, a wide smile on her face. 'If he won't tell you, I will. Jethro's agent has sold his book!'

  'Oh my goodness, that's wonderful news!' Mother beamed at them both.

  'Isn't it? They announced it today in some bookish journal all the writers and people like that read. There's a very complimentary article about him, and about how excited the publishers are to acquire a JJ Richmond book. They used a gorgeous picture of him.'

  Jethro went pink and hung his head, and Sky dug him in the ribs. 'It is! You look so handsome. I'm so excited. I've brought it with me so you'll see for yourselves.'

  I smiled at how proud she was of Jethro. Who could blame her? I was proud of him myself.

  'Which publisher have you signed with?' Sirius asked.

  Jethro had scooped some biryani into his mouth so couldn't answer at that moment, but Sky was a mine of information. Who needed Jethro?

  'Woodhouse and Townsend in New York. They're huge! His new agent did a brilliant job. There was an actual, real bidding war for his book and the first draft's not even finished yet! Can you imagine? Honestly,' she told us, her face glowing with excitement, 'everyone's so thrilled he's writing again. A new JJ Richmond book is huge news!'

  'Woodhouse and Townsend is a very respectable publishing company,' Sirius said, impressed. 'Well done, Jethro. I think we can safely say your career's back on track.'

  'Long way to go yet,' Jethro mumbled. 'Still not finished the book yet. It could bomb spectacularly.'

  'Don't be so humble,' Star told him. 'It's a foregone conclusion it will be wonderful. All your books are.'

  I smiled at him, remembering how much he'd been struggling this time last year. 'Congratulations, Jethro. 'It's fantastic to have a celebrity in the family.'

  'Hardly a celebrity,' he protested.

  'Yes, you are! You're too modest.' Sky turned to me, her eyes shining. 'I reckon there'll be film rights and everything. Jethro's new agent is optimistic and excited. Much nicer than his old agent.'

  'You never met her,' Jethro pointed out.

  'She let you go, didn't she?' Sky rolled her eyes. 'Obviously useless. Bet she regrets it now.'

  'That's marvellous news,' Mother said. 'Congratulations, Jethro. I look forward to reading the article.'

  'It's only a few paragraphs,' he said. 'Honestly, Sky's getting a bit carried away.'

  'Yes, Sky tends to do that,' Star agreed. 'Still, good news that such a big publisher signed you. Fancy it being an American one. I expect Americans aren't interested in other contemporary British authors, so well done.'

  'Er, you have heard of JK Rowling?' Sirius grinned. 'There's a lot of interest in her. Not to mention Ian McEwan, Jojo Moyes, Hilary Mantel—'

  'Yes, okay.' Sky sounded sulky. 'If you want to ruin our big moment, go ahead.'

  'Our big moment?' Star laughed.

  'What affects Jethro affects me,' Sky said. 'And vice versa, naturally.'

  'Naturally,' I said, smiling.

  'Anyway, JJ Richmond is easily as popular as any of those other authors, and this is just the start of his career revival. Golly, I hope you won't pour cold water on this. This novel will be brilliant, and I expect he'll make a fortune from it.'

  'Oh, really?' Mother raised an eyebrow.

  'But the main thing is he's back writing and doing what he loves,' Sky added hastily. 'That's the best part about it, obviously.'

  'Oh, obviously.' Sirius smirked at her.

  Sky considered him a moment. 'You know, I've been thinking. Why don't you give internet dating a go, Sirius? Just because Celeste won't entertain it, doesn't mean—'

  'Me? Forget it. Absolutely no way.'

  'Oh, but Sirius, why not?'

  Sirius pushed his plate away. 'I'm not looking for another relationship, simple as that.'

  'Darling, I understand you still miss Carissa,' Mother said gently, 'but it's been over three years now. She wouldn't want you to be alone.'

  'And you know that for a fact, do you?' Sirius demanded. 'You barely knew her.'

  'But I did,' Jethro mumbled. 'Your mother's right. Carissa would hate for you to be lonely.' As Sirius glared at him, he added hastily, 'Which doesn't mean you should sign up for internet dating. Everyone's different. You'll know when you're ready to love again, I'm positive.'

  Sirius's expression softened. 'Thanks, Jethro. Yes, I'm sure I will, and that time isn't now. Far from it.'

  'I call for a change of subject,' Father said.

  We all shut up, and an awkward silence fell.

  'By the way,' Star blurted, 'I ought to tell you now I've invited Nan over for Christmas lunch tomorrow.'

  'I expected you would, darling,' Mother responded. She smiled at Benedict. 'Your dear grandmother probably missed you dreadfully last Christmas when you were in Sussex. It will be lovely for her to spend the day with you this year.'

  'Yes, but I'm just putting it out there,' Star added, 'in case someone has any objections.'

  We all peered over at Castor, who scowled.

  Aurora looked puzzled. 'Why would anyone have any objections?'

  'You tell me,' Star said. 'Only Castor was positively rude to her at our wedding. I don't understand why, but he'd jolly well better behave himself tomorrow or he can go home and spend Christmas alone.'

  'I'm sure Castor has nothing against my nan,' Benedict said. He eyed Castor warily. 'Have you?'

  Castor shrugged. 'Nowt to do with me who you invite to your own house,' he said.

  'But there's not a problem with her, is there?' Benedict persisted, sounding shocked. 'Who could have anything against Nan? She's lovely.'

  'She is lovely,' I reassured him hastily. 'No one has anything against her. We'll be delighted to have Christmas lunch with her.'

  'Castor?' Benedict persisted.

  Castor tutted. 'Like I said, nowt to do with me. What do you reckon I'll do? Turn her into a frog?'

  Star looked cross. 'Benedict has long since realised witches don't make a habit of turning people into frogs,' she insisted.

  'Took him long enough,' Castor said.

  'Yes, well, he got there eventually.'

  'But Nan will be safe?' Benedict said sharply. 'You won't do anything to — upset her?'

  'Upset her?' Castor let ou
t a shout of laughter. 'You mean do magic on her? Why the hell would I? I won't even notice she's there most like. I've got better things to do with me time.'

  'Perhaps,' Sky muttered, 'you ought to make a witch bottle to protect Mrs Greenwood, Star.'

  Star groaned. 'Oh, gosh, don't mention witch bottles! Have you any idea how many times we've argued about the wretched bottle I put in her loft?'

  'What are you arguing about it for?' I asked. 'Benedict knows you did it with the best of intentions.'

  She'd placed it in Mrs Greenwood's loft back in the spring, to protect Benedict from a perceived threat which turned out to be no threat at all. It had thoroughly freaked him out when he discovered it, but once he understood she'd only put it there because she loved him and wanted to protect him, he'd been fine with it. I didn't see why it was still an issue.

  'I appreciate that,' Benedict said firmly. 'The trouble is I want Star to get rid of it and she won't.'

  'Why would you want rid of it?' Sky asked. She puffed out her cheeks and fanned her mouth in horror. 'Aarrggh! Pass me the water! What have I eaten?'

  I pushed the water jug towards her, laughing. 'It's lamb vindaloo. Too much?'

  'Way, way too much!' She gulped down some water and reached for the naan bread, which she dipped in some cooling cucumber raita. 'Phew! That's better.' She leaned back in her chair, looking exhausted. 'I'll stick to the korma in the future. Sorry, Benedict, you were saying?'

  'I was saying,' he said patiently, 'that I want Star to dispose of the witch bottle.'

  'So why won't you?' I asked her. 'Benedict's in no danger now. Not,' I added hastily, 'that he ever was.'

  'Because I need him to see he can trust me,' Star answered. 'He spent so long assuming I'd cast a spell on him and not believing I hadn't and never would. At least, with the witch bottle he knows I can't. I need him to have that assurance.'

  'But, as I told her,' Benedict explained, 'I wish her to know I do trust her. There shouldn't be any doubt between us, and if she'll dispose of that thing it will prove to her I'm not afraid of her. That I'm sure she's telling me the truth.'

  'It sounds reasonable to me,' Father said. 'How about it, Star?'

  'No.' Star shook her head, her lips pursed.

  'She's such a stubborn witch.' Mother sighed. 'I'm afraid when she makes her mind up there's nothing anyone can do to change it.'

  'But it's obvious she doesn't believe I trust her,' Benedict moaned. 'And I do. I really do.'

  'Of course you do,' Mother said. 'You'd hardly have married her if you didn't.'

  'Exactly!' He turned to Star, a triumphant expression on his face. 'See? Your mother agrees with me.'

  'I don't care if the entire British government agrees with you. I won't remove the witch bottle. You hurt me before when you didn't trust me. I'm not going through that again.'

  'But that was before!'

  'Yes, but it was awful. Remember when Elvira got that dreadful rash, and you accused me of giving it to her?'

  'I said I was sorry for that,' he said.

  'Yes, you did, but you wouldn't listen at the time. Suppose you get a rash, or something worse, after we've argued? You'd insist I'd done it to you as punishment.'

  'I wouldn't,' he promised. 'I know you'd never do that.'

  'You say that now,' she said, 'but tempers fray. Accusations fly. We say things that can never be unsaid. I couldn't bear us to break up again because of it. Leave the bottle alone and we'll both have peace of mind.'

  'Knowing you don't trust me, and you honestly think I don't trust you, doesn't give me peace of mind,' he grumbled.

  'Trouble in paradise already, eh?' Castor said. 'That didn't last long, did it?'

  'Oh, Castor, do shut up,' Mother said. 'You really are the voice of doom. Star and Benedict are perfectly happy. Every married couple has disagreements.'

  'They certainly do,' Castor replied. 'Remember when you and Raiden were together? By heck, the castle walls shook with some of your rows.'

  'I'm quite sure Aurora doesn't want to hear all that,' Mother said firmly.

  Aurora shrugged. 'I don't mind,' she said.

  'Well, I do,' Father said. 'Can we change the subject, please?'

  'What, again?' Sky whistled. 'Golly, we're tearing through them tonight, aren't we?'

  'It's Christmas tomorrow,' I reminded them. 'We're all here, together, one big happy family.' I emphasised the happy, to make sure they remembered. 'We have so many reasons to be thankful.'

  Father smiled. 'We do.' He put his arm around Aurora, who was so moved she put down her spoon. 'A new baby in a week or so. Another little St Clair in the world.'

  Castor rolled his eyes. 'Gawd help us,' he mumbled.

  Sky kissed Jethro. 'Quite right. And Jethro's new book will be out in the next year or two, and he'll be on all the billboards again, as he deserves to be.'

  Star looked at Benedict. 'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I don't mean to upset you, honestly.'

  He hesitated, then took her hand. 'I know,' he whispered. 'I still love you, anyway.'

  Sirius and I traded glances. He smiled ruefully at me, and I smiled back. I guess we were both subdued by the shows of affection from the surrounding couples. We were happy they were happy, and we loved them all dearly, but it did rather bring home the case that we were single, and likely to remain so for the foreseeable future. At least Sirius had experienced love with Carissa. I'd never even come close. I wondered, was that better or worse? Was it more painful to have loved and lost, or was it more depressing I'd never fallen for anyone, and no one had ever loved me?

  'Has everyone finished?' Mother asked, looking around at our mostly empty plates.

  We all agreed we had. Even Aurora felt full, although she looked regretful at having to admit it.

  'I'll clear away,' Castor said, getting to his feet.

  'Oh, there's no need,' Mother assured him. 'I can do it in a jiffy.'

  'I'll do it the ordinary way,' he said, scraping leftovers onto his plate. 'Need summat to take me mind off me indigestion.'

  We all staggered into the living room and collapsed on various sofas and chairs.

  'Gosh, I'm absolutely stuffed,' Sky groaned. 'I don't see how we'll ever find room for Christmas lunch.'

  'I'm confident we'll manage it somehow,' Jethro said.

  'You'd better. I've got an absolute feast planned,' Star said. 'And Nan has made us a Christmas pudding, and a gorgeous Christmas cake, and mince pies and—'

  'Oh, stop, stop,' Sky begged. 'I feel sick. No offence to Mrs Greenwood, of course.'

  'Are you all right, Aurora?'

  Mother sounded rather anxious, and we all turned to look at my stepmother, who was pulling a strange face.

  Father turned pale. 'Aurora? What is it?'

  'Golly gosh,' Aurora gasped. 'If these are contractions, you can jolly well keep them.'

  'Contractions?' Father squeaked. 'Seriously?'

  'Oh, my word!' Mother jumped up and hurried over to where Aurora was squirming in her armchair. 'You poor dear. Now, stay calm.'

  'Seriously?' Star looked faint. 'She's having the baby? Here? Now?'

  'Oh no!' Father gripped the arm of the sofa in terror. 'She can't. It's too soon.'

  'Now, Aurora,' Mother said, crouching by her side and taking her hand, 'breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth.'

  Father took a deep breath.

  'Not you,' Star said.

  'He'd better do as she said,' Sirius said, looking nervously at our father, who was now visibly sweating. 'Deep breaths, Father. That's the way.'

  'Should we call an ambulance?' Sky asked.

  'For Father?' Sirius queried.

  'Aren't you hilarious?' Sky said, pulling a face.

  'We need to time the contractions first,' Mother said. 'Hospitals these days don't let you in until you've practically given birth, anyway. Not like in my day. The slightest twinge and they whisked us in and gave us a bed. Now it's, "Take two paracetamol and don't bother us until t
he head's out." Disgraceful.'

  Aurora looked appalled. 'Really? But I feel like it's about to come at any moment.'

  'Oh no, you've got hours to go yet,' Mother assured her cheerfully. 'We've only just begun.'

  'As the Carpenters sang,' Sirius said.

  Aurora gasped. 'Raiden, I don't think I can do this.'

  'You can,' Benedict soothed. 'Women have been having babies since — well, forever. It's no big deal.'

  'Oh, really?' Star said. 'Says the man who nearly passed out when he cut his finger.'

  'Be fair,' Benedict replied. 'It was a deep cut. There was an awful lot of blood.'

  Star tutted. 'Wait until you see what comes out of Aurora.'

  'Oh dear God,' Benedict muttered.

  'Perhaps we should wait outside,' Jethro suggested, sounding queasy.

  'I still think we should order an ambulance,' Sky said.

  'And I'm telling you it's far too early,' Mother replied.

  'I feel sick,' Father murmured.

  I wasn't feeling so good myself, come to that.

  Castor popped his head round the door. 'Anyone for a coffee or a tea? What's up with you lot? What's going on?'

  'Oh, Castor,' Star wailed, 'Aurora is having her baby here. It's awful.'

  Castor frowned as he looked Aurora up and down. He tutted, strolled up to her, produced a bottle of clear liquid and a spoon and made her take whatever potion it was. Aurora pulled a face but dutifully swallowed. There was a loud noise, and we all jumped.

  'What on earth was that?'

  'Wind,' Castor said briefly. 'Now, tea or coffee?'

  We all looked at Aurora. She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them again and gave us all an apologetic smile. 'Gosh, that looks to have done the trick. Thanks muchly, Castor.'

  Seriously? One loud explosion and her "contractions" had disappeared?

  'Too much Indian food,' Mother said, her nose wrinkling in distaste.

  'I can't cope with this,' Father cried.

  'Bit too late to worry about that,' she told him. 'Coffee for me, Castor. And I appreciate that it's cold outside, but can someone open the window, please?'

  Chapter Three

  The evening ended by ten o'clock. Everyone was exhausted. Father and Aurora had gone home at nine, which had come as quite a relief as Aurora's "contractions" had continued intermittently, and it wasn't as if we had a dog we could blame. The cats would certainly refuse to become scapegoats, even if we'd dared try. Bran and Belasko had been appalled and had abandoned the living room to explore the castle grounds and get some fresh air. None of us could blame them, and I do think the cats rather envied them.